This morning I took my last three capsules of Milk Thistle [as directed]. That last bit is in brackets because it was recommended to take 1 -3 capsules a day and I chose to take all three capsules at once in the morning with either 100% pure cranberry juice or water.
You see as a part of my plan to get back in shape and on track for marathon training I planned to subject myself to a 7-10 day cleanse and detox program. I’d never done one before and was a bit apprehensive about it. I’ve heard the horror stories about spending “Bundy-like” amounts of time on the old "Ferguson". I read about the withdrawals your body goes through from depriving it of all the tasty bad stuff like fats and red meat. I’ve read and heard that they don’t work! Despite all the negatives I told myself I had to try it. Why and my review will follow but first, here’s the program:
My Swapmeet Detox Plan!
I could have gone and dropped a little cash on the pre-packaged deals where you swallow a couple of horse tablets once or twice a day but I honestly couldn’t find any comprehensive review of any of the products out there. And there are a LOT of products out there. Not feeling too confident about it I did myself some research to find out what the basics of a cleanse/detox were and came up with my own plan. This:
That’s about $35 worth of all natural products. About the same cost as a pre-packaged deal but at least I trusted what I was putting in my body.
It was a two stage, simultaneous process. Cleansing involved me getting rid of the years of junk sitting in my body and detoxing was all about repairing the “cleaning organs” and giving them a break from all the rough housing.
My plan started with a good old salt water flush. Go ahead and click on that link to see what kind of masochist I really am. Done? Good. Now let me tell you that article does not exaggerate! It goes just as it came with just a little added color. :( I did exactly as I was instructed and put a little more than a tablespoon of that salt into a liter of water and chugged the sumbitch. I gave it a little while to work thorugh and then the magic happened. Details will be spared.
After everything had been flushed I chugged this tasty treat here:
That is a Cascaders probiotic smoothie and it was DELICIOUS! I picked it up on sale at my local Ralphs for $1 and I was not disappointed. According to the SWF theory you should down some probiotics after the flush since the flush strips the good with the bad. :/
I gotta be honest I felt a little queasy for a good while after the flush but I guess with that much salt water it was only natural. Luckily I only had to do that once. From then on it was all about will power.
I started every morning with this:
That’s Milk Thistle in powdered capsule form and 100% cranberry juice. No sugar, no colors, and barely any water. Disgusting in the beginning but the taste grew on me. Every morning, this is how I started.
Right after that little cocktail or at some point during the day I got real stupid and messed around with Metamucil. Stop making jokes, if you were blind folded you wouldn’t be able to tell it from Tang. Until it started working through the small intestine. Again, details spared. Now the directions say to take up to three doses a day each time with 8oz. of water. Me being the knucklehead I am took all three doses at once with 8oz. of water. And again, I chugged dem sumbitches!!!
There’s really not much more to say about that.
In addition to all that I was supposed to eat one of these a day:
After that first one I gave up on it real quick!
Cranberry juice for the kidneys and UT, fiber for the colon, milk thistle for the liver!
So, all of that in addition to NO ALCOHOL, NO RED MEAT, NO SMOKING, and EXERCISE! A cleanse and detox! Out with the bad and in with the good. I survived for exactly seven days which was my original goal. I ended up having a cheat day and a few more over the next couple of days but I held in pretty good for a total of 10 days. I did exactly what I wanted to do and that was wait until after my buddy’s bachelor party, wedding, and the 4th of July.
So, did it work? How did I feel right after? How do I feel now? Am I sticking with it?
Yes/no? ok, I guess? Better? Kinda sorta.
I don’t wanna say it was a waste of time and money. It definitely helped me build up my will power. I proved to myself I could do it. Proved I could party without the drink. But do I really feel any better or healthier? Not really. To be honest I might even feel a bit worse. More fatigued even.
Bottom line: I DID IT! and I will do it again at some point. The next time I’ll do it official and try to last a full 30 days to reap the full benefits. I have a feeling my soul sister is shaking her head right now laughing at me and ready to lecture me on the RIGHT way to do it. So excuse me while I run and hide!